House Arrest Day 2

Well this is the second day of school mandated house arrest.  To take the term to a whole new level I have been watching House (oh how punny I am) for HOURS.  If you survived that last sentence and had the stomach to keep reading, I promise, no more jokes. Yes this is the extent of my life now, no facebook, no cell phone, no contact with my friends, yet, no energy to finish citing my paper on Date Rape from my last suspension (sneaking out of a hotel on a school trip, which lead to my current suspension through the magnifying glass of also then mandated Disciplinary Probation on my skipping basketball practice last week.)  However, I have now taken the initiative to work on that today, along with my letter to my basketball coach and my homework, I have an incomplete for all of my classes.  Luckily once I opened my internet to do a bibliography on a paper I wrote before Christmas my history provided a good enough distraction to kill a few hours.  And when I turned on my TV I was greeted in my DVR with a House Marathon!  Procrastination saves the day.

My uggs, before they wash off.

Extra! Extra! Read All About the Small Part I Will Disclose!

The jury has reached a verdict, the defendant has been charged with a flawed and shameful character, but has not received an execution.  Instead, she is charged with 5 days house arrest, and a year + of probation.   And, NO PHONE OR FACEBOOK.  Well, that killed the metaphor.  Actually my imminent facebook suspension was how I was convinced to start this blog, to combat boredom and also talk to Sydney between now and January 26th.  

               More importantly, The Baltimore Ravens.  Sorry Shittsburgh fans, Sunday is going to be ownage.  Sadly, due to my grounding I will not be able to go out for the game, which means my traditional good-luck Dunkin' Donuts will not be acquired on the way.  Nothing gets me in the mood like 20 minutes explaining my desire for a "latte...lahh-tay, LAH-TAY!" to a woman who barely speaks english.  The mood for football, if that needs any clarification.

Sham-Holy Shit There is a God!

I will have to wait for my scholastic fate to be announced tomorrow at 8.  (rhyming not intentional). Whatever the outcome I can find hope in knowing that I will always have my friends, family, and the above picture.

In addition to my manic uncertainty, my "M" and "H" keys are blocked up by stale banana Laffy Taffy, trapped under them.  Being stale and from an anonymous snowman shaped bag offered to me by my friend I really haven't any idea as to the origin of this candy now lodged in y coputer and hopefully not in my small intestine.  Yes, I ate it.  It was a moment of weakness.  Should the condition of my machine worsen I ight have to pull off the m key.  Well I just did this and now it is stuck under the "n" key.  And my M key is permanently detached, I am afraid.

YES it snapped back on! This is all happening in real time reader.  While I'm sure this epic saga is keeping you enthralled there is a deeper question I must now entertain.  Sham-wows are magic right?  Right. 

Lights, Camera, Anti-climax!

Hmmm....how to start this blog? It would be intimidating to begin with something deep and intellectual, not that I am planning on posts of such nature in the future.  Nor am I itching to divulge personal information.  See, I don't very much care for my hopefully existent reader, and maybe, should the great lord shine his light upon my blog,resulting in TWO obviously bored by-passers, my address to the "reader" can be augmented with an optimistic "s", knowing every intimate detail of my life.  

Currently, in front of me sits my homework, TV, phone, and my figurative last supper.  Tomorrow will be my second huge deal "Honor Board" Meeting of my freshman year in High School, this time facing immenent doom (expulsion).  Since yesterday I have been dreading this day as an atheist would dread an execution day.  There are no pleasant aftermaths; either there is no god, no afterlife, nothing but a void. boring right? Conversely, there is always the just as attractive option of an eternity in warm, but not sunny, trip to hell.  All Inclusive!  Faced with these two options there isn't anything to do.  Well besides gorging yourself on cake and nubile jokes and conversations that appeal to the areas of your mind that can still feel trivial and picayune pleasures. (Sydney, consider this a shout out.)  Also, making lists of sex fantasies is a great way to go. (again, sydney) Those will surely appear in a later post.  Another reason to keep reading.  Also! The suspense of wondering what will happen tomorrow?  Will our hero (for lack of a better word.) be expelled from her private school?  Doomed to Public high school and a non-Ivy League college, a life of fatal mediocracy by the standards of her family and friends? I have to wait a whole day.  You only need scroll down!  Lucky Bastards!